every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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