oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize