AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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