so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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