God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
