when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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