Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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