I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
