I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Screwed.edu
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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