Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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