Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
