please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
