his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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