I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
