i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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