shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
