there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
