Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize