Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
North Korea, Best Korea!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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