My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
