and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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