Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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