I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
