i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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