I don't remember. Are we still dating?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
