How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
