when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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