Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
