I've blown a few things in my day
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize