guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
