Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
