I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
