thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How does it feel to date your dad?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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