i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
NoShamevember. You game?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
