there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
