Soap is not a condiment
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
