it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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