why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize