Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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