how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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