hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize