I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
