I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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