question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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