I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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