What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
