All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
