a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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