i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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