my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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