What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
