She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize