Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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