Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
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