I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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