If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
