He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
