i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
