There is no way he is gay with that hair.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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