Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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