Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
