He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
