just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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