I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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